Nickels and Dimes

There's an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force--which I just saw a repeat of last night--where Oglethorpe and Emory lure Shake into their spaceship (so as to replace him with a perfect copy) by promising him a movie deal. Meatwad, acting as Shake's agent, negotiates a contract for 15% gross, licensing rights and one (1) VHS copy of the movie itself.

The reason I bring that up is that I just read about the particulars of Ichiro's new deal with the Mariners. Rather than making the $17 million / year figure that was first reported, he'll be grossing $12M. What happens to the rest? Well...

1. 5 million deferred a year, at 5.5% interest (!)
2. $32K a year in a "housing allowance"
3. 4 (four) first-class tickets for round trips from Japan to Seattle
4. A personal trainer
5. A Mercedes

... fuck the heck? Dude, you're making millions of dollars a year. Don't worry about the VHS.