Night of the Living ESPN Comments Section

Related to a piece by Buster "Yankee" Olney on why the Yankees missed the playoffs this year:

Maybe the steinbrenners will finally learn that the yankees need to develop their farm system because they cant buy themselves into winning a championship anymore. the thing that made the yankees so intimidating in the late 90s was that they did not have an all star lineup but had a menacing pitching staff and players that played for the love of the game like broscius, tino martinez, bernie williams, paul oneill just to name some. they would not outslug you most of the nights but they would systematically shut you down with pitching and would always have the clutch hitting that the yankees of this year did not have

At least three of those guys -- Broscius, Tino and Bernie -- made the All-Star game at least once during the 96 - 2001 run, by the way.

Nickels and Dimes

There's an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force--which I just saw a repeat of last night--where Oglethorpe and Emory lure Shake into their spaceship (so as to replace him with a perfect copy) by promising him a movie deal. Meatwad, acting as Shake's agent, negotiates a contract for 15% gross, licensing rights and one (1) VHS copy of the movie itself.

The reason I bring that up is that I just read about the particulars of Ichiro's new deal with the Mariners. Rather than making the $17 million / year figure that was first reported, he'll be grossing $12M. What happens to the rest? Well...

1. 5 million deferred a year, at 5.5% interest (!)
2. $32K a year in a "housing allowance"
3. 4 (four) first-class tickets for round trips from Japan to Seattle
4. A personal trainer
5. A Mercedes

... fuck the heck? Dude, you're making millions of dollars a year. Don't worry about the VHS.