A locus for eccentrics (hopefully)

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Career Counseling

I just recently played through Killer 7 for the Gamecube. It's a total mindfuck that sees you, at various points, hang out with a decapitated schoolgirl (who gives you crucial powerups), play chess with Satan, foil a plot to use the US Electoral College to give Japan two Senate seats, and kill the world's biggest importer/exporter.

Yes, you murder Art Vandelay (which is actually a good idea, because right before you go after him he blows up a stadium full of people).

So that's all fine. The problem is that now I really, really want to be an assassin. I want to eliminate people in cold blood at the will of the highest bidder. I want to wear dark suits with pointy lapels and black ties. I want to have touseled hair. I want to carry an oversized revolver in a ridiculously anime pose that would probably result in me accidentally shooting my own head off. I want to be involved in conspiracies upon conspiracies upon conspiracies, preferably involving dark and sordid pasts that we'd believed all but buried.

Anybody hiring? I'm a quick study.


Blogger steve said...

How was the game?

6:57 PM

Blogger neill said...

It's tough to say, because categorizing it as a "game" is hard. The mechanics are that you can move forward or backward, and occasionally you have the choice to switch directions. But choosing Room A/B/C just puts you on a different rail; at its heart, this is a rail shooter (and not a very hard one, even on Hard).

I was very entertained though, by the art, the style, the cracked-out storyline, the characters, etc. All of the tips about the development process (I'd really been looking forward to this one back in the day) were totally accurate-- a conscious decision was made to take form over function. At $15 new at your local Gamestop, that's a decision I support. I might have even enjoyed it at full price, though I can't say I imagine myself playing through it again anytime soon.

It's definitely unique, and I haven't played a unique videogame in a long fucking time (almost picked up a used Pikimin 2 instead of this, coincidentally)

11:04 PM

Blogger Jefe said...

Who's ready to spend $499 on the PS3?

9:38 AM

Blogger neill said...

$599 actually-- the $499 version is embarassingly stripped down, to the point of being unusable for any of the PS3's advertised functions (ie, you get a PS2 with a blu-ray drive and fancier graphics, but no wifi, memory stick support or HDMI output. HDMI is important because it's encrypted; overwhelming odds are that in the not-so-distant future that HD media will be incomptible with non-HDMI outputs, owing to "piracy concerns." So you'll have a hideously expensive piece of HD equipment that doesn't even look HD)

6:27 PM


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