I want to write pretentiously

Oh wait I already got to do that in Grad School. No actually I tried to do that but one of my professors told me something along the lines of, "your prose is eclipsing your message." So then I just made sure to cite a lot of sources and use the sources' pretentiousness as a foil to my folly.

But I digress: my current efforts to write pretentiously will be by applying to a new reality show (!!!) put through a giant amalgamation of Rolling Stone and VH1. The winner of the show (hopefully I will have to go get Diddy some bonbons at 3am from the South Bronx or some shit) gets an internship at Rolling Stone for a year. It works out great because R.S./VH1 are my only two sources of media and current events. That probably explains why I am currently listening to Black Eyed Peas's "my humps" on repeat while thinking about my daily forays into Fashionistismesqueness.

But I am actually doing this. They have a ridiculously long application with lines that are really really small and a whole slew of ridiculous fucking questions, e.g., "What is the worst day of your life thus far," "How would someone who really knows you describe your worst traits?" (my answer for the latter: fickle, a smart-ass, head-in-the-clouds.) I really tried to rationalize why they might desire an almost 30-something dude to be on this reality show. Then I remembered my fashionista tendencies and saw the glow of opportunity. Unfortunately the glow was obscured by a sign that read: "BACK IN FIVE MINUTES."

Actually I am excited about this. I think my writing is fair to middlin', maybe even good on occasion, but you just never know who they are gunning for to be on these sorts of shows. It could be Puck, it could be Jose Canseco, or it could be the entire cast from Real World: Las Vegas. Sadly, the Puck search would probably be my best bet.