Anonymity Kills

Living in a town with its very own CraigsList is a unfailing badge of hipster honor, an opportunity and an onerous responsibility. Key opportunities include being able to tap an almost limitless supply of clothes-hangers and cheap furniture; major responsibilites include knowing that somebody in your department is making cash on the side by selling realtime footage of his unit (which I swear to God is a true story, but it's been removed; I think maybe offering free sex is kosher, but not pay-for voyeurism. That's understandable, I guess).

Another major responsibility is having to be ready and able to shampoo your brain on command. The latest offender is a poster who wants to organize a "Cuddle Party," wherein you show up somewhere in your pajamas and... cuddle? Everything about the website-- which I had to Google for, because the original CL poster was wrong in assuming that I'm a regular Tyra Banks viewer-- is amazingly no-frills. The essential argument is that (single) adults don't get hugged enough, and so we should all get together and, well, cuddle. It sounds like Fight Club except with an arrested sexuality rather than a throbbingly homoerotic one.

The fundamental question: would you want to be hugged by anybody who would go to a Cuddle Party? I know for a fact that my penis can flop its way out through the fly on my boxers and pajama pants during the night, depending on how much I toss and turn in my sleep, relative humidity and whether I remembered to rebutton the fly during the semiconscious trip to the head. This is why I keep my cuddling to a bare minimum, in my own house and with certain invited guests, like a fucking Man.