Primate typists

They say that an infinite number of monkeys randomly hitting keys at an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce the entire works of Shakespeare.

I got to thinking: Where would one get an infinite number of monkeys? Even if you rounded up every captive monkey from pet shops, zoos, and monkey suppliers, I bet you'd only end up with, like, a thousand. And let me tell you, those thousand monkeys wouldn't type shit.

I'm sure the best they could come up with would be a lighthearted article suitable for Reader's Digest, you know, something like the funny things your grandkids say or something like that. But Shakespeare? Forget it.

I say this because I tried this experiment with a pair of macaques and it did not work. I spent $8,000 on them suns a' bitches and all they did was swing in a hammock, chase one another, and scream every time the phone rang.