A locus for eccentrics (hopefully)

Friday, July 13, 2007

Nicknames for our pets

At the Tarkington household, we have five pets: Three dogs, a cat, and a desert tortoise.

They all have nicknames, based on their appearance, personality, or breath.

Sunny, our Boxer:

1. Sunners
2. Taco (because of the way she folds her body in half when she gets excited)
3. Fish Taco (because of her breath and #2)
4. Tuna (see #3 re: breath)
5. Tuna Casserole
6. Tumor Tail (because she has a cyst on her tail)
7. Gimpy
8. Cripple
9. The Retard
10 Idiot
11. Twat Face
12. Licky

Heidi, the Doberman:

1. Fatso
2. Fatty
3. Fat Ass
4. Lard-O
5. Idiot
6. Don Knotts
7. Clicky (for the sound her nails make on the floor)
8. Fart Face
9. Cow
10. Fat Cow

Maggie, the Boston Terrier:

1. Burrito
2. Little Bitch
3. Fat Burrito
4. Macho Burrito
5. Mags
6. Maggers
7. Margaret Ann O'Connell (I claim this is the name on her birth certificate)
8. Snorty
9. Miss Maggie
10. Poop Pants

Libby, our grey cat:

1. Libs
2. Libbetts
3. Libbers
4. Miss Libs

Twyla, the tortoise:

1. Twyler
2. Twyley
3. Twylers

That is all.

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Blogger steve said...

You clearly need more nicknames for your tortoise

11:51 AM

Blogger Jefe said...

Heidi needs a nickname after a Mexican dinner staple, just so she doesn't feel left out. May I suggest "Chimichanga"? Or Chimichangita, so she doesn't get her feelings hurt?

9:00 AM

Blogger Guy Tarkington said...

The tortoise doesn't have much of a personality, so that kind of limits the nicknames. You should hear her talk radio program that airs on Saturday afternoon. It's terrible!

Heidi doesn't need a Mexican dish nickname. She needs to stop eating everyone's underwear.

What are y'alls nicknames for your pets?

1:14 PM

Blogger Jefe said...

Jack - Jackie, Jackie-Boy, Dumbass
Millie - Miwwie, Mills, Puppy-Wuppy
Maddux - Black Cat, Asshole
Manica - Happy Girl
Lil' Honey - Butterball

3:12 PM

Blogger steve said...

Butterball? I like that.

Also. You have 3 cats dude?

10:57 PM

Blogger Jefe said...

Yeah, I don't know how the fuck it happened. Just woke up one day and there they all were. Weird.

8:27 AM


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