Houston, this is STS-141. Preparing to shave.

I saw this streamlined little number on amazon.com. By the looks of it, we’re to believe that it greatly enhances the entire shaving experience- from lather to Old Spice - because it is made of space age material designed by MIT engineers and used by NASA astronauts.

Me, I prefer to use the rusty, patina-ed straightrazor I bought in an antique shop in Wichita, Kansas. My own layer of face protection is a lather made from cold well water and Ivory soap. Afterhave? Two words: Witch hazel. It may burn like hell, but that’s what the leather strap is for: Thorough biting, during which I mutter “Son-uva-bitch!”

Do you think this example of American decadence is a good reason that many other countries hate us?