Three more things that are even more pathetic than they sound

1. Waiting in line for two hours for Hugh Downs' autograph. When you receive it, it says: To John, Best Wishes, Hugh Downs. Your name is not John.

2. Riding in the sidecar of a 1992 Honda Goldwing.

3. Calling a radio station to request It's Raining Men by The Weather Girls. You stay up late listening to the radio for it to come on, but it never does.

That is all.