Befuddling

Project: describe your office/work/computer desk space.
Computer: Shitty Dell. Screen is flat. Model appears to be "Optiplex GX2240." Has CD-ROM drive and 3.5" drive. CD-ROM drive is not writeable.
Panasonic pencil sharpener sits next to computer. There are no pencils in this hospital. This is science dammit! We use ink!!!
Texas longhorn stuffed animal mounts pencil sharpener for effect.
Next to sharpener/bull combo: Cookie Cop from Office Space ("Stop! Move away from the cookie jar.") Unfortunately, he is empty. I need to put some glazed doughnuts in him.
Nearby--office phone. 10 speed dial numbers. Speaker phone. Red Hold button. Transferage available.
Shitty stapler. Square kleenex.
OfficeJet G85xi Printer/Fax/Scanner/Copier nearby.
Narrow mouthed Nalgene with 1/3 water.
Large pad of post-it notes with InVitro logo.
Sweet swingline "industrial MAXXXX" stapler.
Kangaroo and joey stuffed animal hang on wall underneath a "Monet to Moore" Art Institute of Chicago poster, March 13-May 29, 2000.
And behind me, a calendar of David Hasslehoff. For August, he has his arm around a German Shepard and is driving a golf cart. He is luxurious.