My friend says

My friend says you can put a silk hat on a pig, but it's still a pig. But my friend is wrong- True, it's still a pig, but also one that can gain admittance into any of the finest opera houses in the country.

My friend says that he would rather die on his feet than live on his knees. Not me- when I die, I hope I'm at home, in a comfortable bed, surrounded by family and friends.

My friend and I were walking down the sidewalk when he pointed and said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I laughed to myself and ignored this advice, because he had no proof. Then I went back to counting every other of my footsteps, because if I don't, my father's face will explode.